


Worth the Effort

by Axolotl



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, marlas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 14:18:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2550617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Axolotl/pseuds/Axolotl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every single time Martin was with someone, he felt like a virgin.  And perhaps, in some way, he was.<br/>(Fill for a prompt:  "Martin has never had an orgasm involving another person before Douglas has the patience to work them out of him, one by one.")</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth the Effort

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt on dreamwidth: http://cabinpres-fic.dreamwidth.org/6625.html?thread=13568737#cmt13568737

_Just relax. Relax. Don’t ruin this. You always ruin this._

Martin felt Douglas’ palm rubbing him through his trousers, felt his erection growing in response, but couldn’t say he felt much pleasure. And that was already discouraging. It was hard to feel and get lost in the moment when his thoughts were already lost in anxiety.

This always happened. Whenever Martin got intimate with anyone, no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get the captain off. Inevitably, they always gave up. Martin would stutter an apology, try and assure them it wasn’t their fault – or in some rare instances, he’d even managed to fake it without them noticing – and usually his partners had been understanding. But some had gotten frustrated, and those reactions had left the biggest impressions on Martin. The worry of upsetting his partner with his incompetence did nothing to relieve the anxiety that chased away his orgasms.

But this, he didn’t want to ruin. He’d been dating Douglas for over a month now, and pining after him for far longer, and there was only so long he could keep the first officer waiting. Douglas didn’t seem to rush, even when Martin abruptly ended kissing sessions on the couch or cowed away from any intimate touches, but the captain didn’t want to test his patience. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t feel ready for sex. God knew he wanted it – He’d spent enough hours in the solitude of his attic room imagining it – but when the real thing was there, before him, worry would inevitably come creeping in between them. Which was what had been happening as Martin was palmed through his trousers.

 _No no no, relax, just relax, just feel it,_ Martin would tell himself every time he felt his pleasure get chased off by insecurity.

Douglas’ deft hands made short work of his fly, and soon Martin felt his broad fingers slip beneath his waistband. The captain lifted his hips toward the touch, trying desperately to focus on the feeling of callous fingers stroking him. For a short moment, it even felt good – _Yes, yes that’s it, don’t lose that feeling_ — but then a sound escaped Martin, an embarrassing little whimper, and the younger man was clamping his mouth shut as the pleasure he was beginning to feel slipped from his grasp.

But there was no way Martin was going to ruin this. Not now. Not their first time. He’d simply have to pretend, and then perhaps he could convince himself he was relaxed enough to actually enjoy it.

He felt Douglas pull away and felt brief panic. But the FO wasn’t leaving. He shrugged off his shirt and looked down at Martin with a hungry look in his eyes that somehow made the captain feel even more exposed and vulnerable.

“Look at you,” Douglas growled, diving in for another kiss as he kicked his trousers off. A muffled groan escaped Martin, and he stiffened in embarrassment. “You’re gorgeous…”

Martin didn’t know how to respond. Douglas’ words were meant to make him feel wanted, meant to encourage, no doubt, but the captain only felt the heavy weight of how untrue they were. He wasn’t sure what to say in response – Did Douglas want to be told the same? That Martin thought he was attractive and that he wanted to touch and kiss every bit of him and make him feel just as special and wanted as Douglas made him? Because true as that was, the ginger knew he simply would never have the courage to say those things. So in place of words, a simple “Mmm…” escaped him.

Every single time Martin was with someone, he felt like a virgin. And perhaps, in some way, he was.

_How pathetic._

Douglas was pulling away again. Oh no.

“Are you alright…?” The question was asked in a breathless whisper, concern written on the first officer’s face. Martin froze.

_Shit._

“Fine.”

“You’re sure?” Douglas looked skeptical. Martin had been fearing this.

_Just fake it like you always do._

“Positive.” The FO was yanked down into a fierce kiss, which seemed to silence his question for the moment.

The kiss distracted them both for a while. Douglas managed to get Martin out of his trousers, and Martin was able to temporarily ignore some of the insecurity. Until, of course, he felt Douglas’ erection pressed up against his hip and a hand snaking down to touch him again.

 _Why can’t you just... let it feel good??_ The captain thought angrily at his own body. The tingle of pleasure was there, but it never grew, always gave anything close to orgasm a wide berth. Douglas’ heavy breath in his ear was both arousing and suffocating.

It was obvious this wasn’t working, so it was time to try a new trick. Martin lifted his leg, gently nudging between Douglas’, rubbing rhythmically against him. Douglas took in a shaky breath and let it out as a hiss as his hips moved in return. But still, his hand stayed on Martin, stroking gently. The captain soon turned, flipping Douglas onto his back and rolling on top of him.

At the very least, he could make this good for his partner.

Kissing his way down the first officer’s body, Martin felt and heard Douglas’ breath stutter in and out of his lungs. As he got below Douglas’ navel, hands found their way into his curly hair.

“ _Christ…_ ” Douglas hissed as a warm tongue began to tease him, before he was taken into the heat of Martin’s mouth.

Listening to the older man’s reactions, hearing him gasp and pant and whisper Martin’s name (God, that last sounded especially good, it practically knocked the air out of his lungs), the captain felt encouraged. At least he didn’t fail when it came to his partner’s pleasure. Only his own.

Douglas tugged gently on his hair, signaling for Martin to stop before the first officer finished in his mouth, but that had been the plan all along for the captain. And when he did, it was the most satisfaction Martin had felt all night.

Watching Douglas lie there, boneless and breathless, Martin half hoped he’d simply fall asleep and forget about his partner. But of course, Douglas wasn’t so careless. Unfortunately. The moment Martin moved to lie beside him, the ginger was being pulled in for another kiss.

“Come here, you,” Douglas growled, grinning mischievously. Martin felt a flair of panic.

“I-I-I—Ah…!” Despite his own orgasm, Douglas had the energy to flip over rather suddenly and lavish attention on his partner.

_Just pretend. Just pretend. Relax._

Martin responded, arching into his touch and gasping, though he barely enjoyed it. As the minutes ticked on and his climax seemed no closer, however, he felt a frustrated sob clawing its way up his throat.

“Martin?”

“I’m sorry…” Martin covered his face, well aware that his erection was now lost. Douglas rolled off of him, and he prepared for the worst. Stubbornly, he held back his sob.

_This is it. It’s over. He knows now. He’s going to want to leave._

An awkward silence hung between them as Martin attempted to compose himself. Then, a gentle hand was on his shoulder.

“Martin, are you… Was that okay…?”

“Fine, it was fine, wonderful, I’m sorry…” The captain rolled over and sat up, ready to flee, but Douglas caught him by the wrist.

“Wait, Martin, wait…!”

“I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry…” Martin tried to pull himself free, but the FO was sitting up and wrapping an arm around him.

“No no no no, wait, just wait, please, Martin…” 

The captain soon lost his will to fight, sitting on the edge of the bed with his face hidden in his hands.

“What’s wrong?” Douglas asked, voice soft by Martin’s ear as he pulled him in close. “Please, you need to tell me…”

Martin shook his head. “I-It’s not…” His voice was choked, and he clamped his mouth shut. God knew he’d embarrassed himself enough.

“Did you… Did you not want any of that? Martin, you need to tell me these things—“

“No, no, it wasn’t like that, it wasn’t…” Martin cut him off.

“… Is it medical?”

And he thought his blush couldn’t get any brighter. Martin dropped his hands to his lap, looking away from Douglas. “No… It’s just me…” 

_There it is. You’ve gone and ruined it again._

Strangely, Douglas wasn’t teasing. There were no smart quips. He simply soothed Martin, stroking the tips of his fingers over the younger man’s shoulder. “Talk to me, Martin…”

This happened too, sometimes. If Martin was lucky enough, he got a partner who was comforting. Perhaps not to the degree that Douglas was right now, but they’d try in vain to assure him. It always made him feel guiltier.

But he’d done enough damage. The least he could do was give Douglas the truth. Martin took in a deep breath.

“I’ve never… I’ve never been able to before. W-With another person.”

Douglas was quiet a moment. “… You’re a virgin…?”

“No, no.” Martin waved his hand, clenching his eyes shut against the shame he felt. “I’ve just… I’ve never… finished.”

“… They never let you finish??” The captain could hear the appalled shock in his voice. At least it wasn’t directed at him.

“No, they—They tried, people have tried, but I… I _can’t._ ” He pulled his knees up, hugging them to his chest. “I just… I get so _nervous_ and I obsess over whether I’m going to ruin it or not and I… I do ruin it. Every time.” He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “And I’ve ruined it now.”

“You haven’t ruined anything.” Douglas placed a kiss on the captain’s temple.

“I wanted this to be different,” Martin muttered miserably.

Silence fell between the couple for a few moments, broken only by Martin’s awkward sniffs. With a sigh, Douglas lied back and pulled him down into his chest. “You know, Martin, there’s no rush. We have all the time in the world to figure it out. And I do have a few tricks up my sleeve, when you’re ready to try them.”

“You’ll get bored of me by then…”

“I’m quite sure I won’t. If I was going to get bored of you, I would have had plenty of time to do that already. Yet here I am, still quite smitten.”

Martin looked up at his partner. The first officer was rude, childish, and insufferable, but he could also be gentle and comforting when he wanted to be. The captain had only seen that side of him a few months ago, and since then he’d fallen quite hard.

If Douglas wanted to keep trying, he’d simply have to accept that, and pray it didn’t end the way every other relationship had. The captain only hoped this wasn’t prolonging the inevitable.

*****

Two weeks had passed, and nothing further than long, luxurious kisses on the couch and in bed were shared. Douglas would touch, but nowhere too intimate – Martin’s lower back, his neck, and perhaps once his arse were the farthest he went – and those times usually ended with Douglas soothing away any heated arousal and holding his partner close.

But then a 48-hour layover in Istanbul happened, and a hotel that, while not a five star suite by any means, was a step up from Carolyn’s usual accommodations.

Martin sat between Douglas’ legs on the bed, back pressed against his chest as he flipped through stations and shows he didn’t understand. At some point, however, he stopped paying attention to them. Behind him, Douglas was pressing soft kisses to his neck, up to his temple, down to his ear. His arms wrapped securely around Martin, hands roaming along his chest.

With a shaky breath, Martin turned off the television.

Douglas’ hands moved down the ginger’s shirt, unbuttoning each button slowly. His hand slid under the fabric, caressing gently. The captain took in a shaky breath.

“L-Light…” Martin reached for the bedside lamp. If they were going to do anything, he wanted it to be dark. He wanted to be able to hide. Douglas complied, reaching over and flicking the switch.

“Stay like this,” the first officer murmured by Martin’s ear when he made to turn over. “Don’t do a thing unless I say. I’m in charge tonight.”

The captain shivered. “… I-I might not… You know…”

“I have all night.” His hands rested on Martin’s knees, stroking their way up his thighs gently. “Relax, and just feel…”

The captain was already hard by the time Douglas’ hands had made their way up to his hips, but the touch did not reach for his erection. He swept past it, stroking Martin’s inner thighs as he listened to the younger man’s breath stutter. Martin spread his legs just a bit more.

Douglas’ kisses moved to the nape of the captain’s neck, and he muttered softly. “Do you touch yourself, Martin…?”

Martin felt his face heat up, both from arousal and embarrassment. “W-What…?”

“When you’re alone in the dark, when I’m not there and you’re left wanting,” His voice was an octave lower than normal, adopting the low growl that he knew could always make the captain shiver. “Do you touch yourself…?”

Swallowing, Martin nodded.

“Good…” It sounded like praise, and something about that response made the captain’s heart skip a beat. Douglas nipped gently at his ear, sucking his earlobe into his mouth briefly. “Do you imagine anything…?”

Martin’s eyes slid shut. “Y-Yes…”

“Do you imagine anyone…?”

Those travelling fingers skidded along the flannel of Martin’s pyjama bottoms, very, very close to where the captain wanted them, but never quite there. He raised his hips encouragingly.

“You…”

“Wonderful, Love…” Douglas smiled against the side of Martin’s neck, before sucking on the skin gently. “Tell me what you imagine…”

The captain felt his ears burn. “I-I…”

A silence fell between them, broken only by the soft sound of breathing and hum of the air conditioning turning on. Martin couldn’t find the courage to speak.

“Do you imagine me on top, lavishing you with attention…?” His hand dipped down, thumb brushing over the front of the captain’s trousers briefly and causing a soft gasp. “Do you imagine taking charge, pushing me down into the bed and showing me who’s boss…?”

Martin craned his neck back, panting softly. “Y-Yes…”

It wasn’t a specific answer, but it didn’t need to be. Douglas pushed his hips forward just a bit, and Martin could feel his erection pressed behind him. “I imagine that too, Darling… When you’re not there, I find myself thinking of you quite often…”

“God…” Martin muttered, raising his hips once more, signaling what he wanted, though he could feel anxiety looming on the horizon, ready to pounce once more and ruin everything. Still, Douglas did not touch directly. Merely teased.

“What do you do when you think of me…?”

“ _Douglas…_ ” The captain still didn’t answer directly, still too embarrassed to put his thoughts into words. One of Douglas’ hands travelled up to tease his nipple, causing him to squirm between the first officer’s legs.

“Tell me… Please, Love, I need to know…” Now, the FO was beginning to breathe more heavily. “Do you say my name? Do you stoically bite your lip against the endearments that gather on the tip of your tongue?” Martin’s hips began to rock off the bed slightly, until Douglas’ hands on his hips held him down. They’d both begun to pant. “I do that, Darling. I whisper your name into a pillow and _Christ_ I can practically taste you on my tongue every time…”

“Y-You kiss me…” Martin finally began to speak, his voice shaky and breathless. “You pin me down, you call me b-beautiful…”

“You are beautiful, Sweetheart, so beautiful…” Douglas’ hand found Martin’s, guiding it up his own thigh and over the tented bulge in his trousers. Martin began to rub himself through the fabric. “Show me what you do. Show me how you touch…”

Martin loosened the drawstring of his pyjama trousers and pushed them down, exposing his erection and taking himself into his hand. Behind him, Douglas pressed his hips subtly, rhythmically into his lower back, and watched from over his shoulder.

“W-When you’re not there…” Martin panted, but wasn't able to finish the sentence.

“I’m here now…” Douglas spoke into his hair.

Instantly, the fear Martin had felt before seemed to find him, whispering in his ear that he wasn’t alone now, there was someone here and they were expecting things of him. They were expecting him to finish. They were waiting for it, watching his every move.

“Don’t stop,” Douglas muttered, seeing Martin’s hand falter. He covered the ginger’s fist with his own palm, urging him to keep the steady pace he was making. “You’re doing so well, Martin… That’s it…”

Like a balm, the praise numbed Martin’s insecurity until it was almost negligible. The pull of orgasm was tugging harder than the pull of anxiety. The captain turned his head to look at Douglas, and was met with an enthusiastic, open-mouthed kiss.

“That’s it…” Douglas encouraged as the kiss turned to breathless panting. Gently, he nudged Martin’s hand away, and replaced it with his own, stroking the captain with increasing vigor. Behind the captain, he was rocking his hips, and Martin moved back against him encouragingly. “That’s it… God, Martin, you’re gorgeous like this…”

“Ahh…” Martin gripped Douglas’ thighs, and arched back until his head was rested on the first officer’s shoulder and the side of his exposed throat was being covered in kisses.

It was happening. Martin felt climax drawing closer and closer, and for once, there was nothing to chase it off. He almost felt giddy, lightheaded, as his chest heaved and his mouth hung open in a silent gasp.

And then, he was tumbling over the edge. His fingernails dug into Douglas’ thighs, and he felt a low groan ripped from his throat. In that moment, he couldn’t be arsed to be embarrassed by the noises he made. As his orgasm racked through his body, he vaguely noted Douglas reached back to stroke himself vigorously, before he was muffling a gasp in Martin’s neck.

His arms felt like jelly, shaking as he relaxed back against his partner’s body. Douglas wrapped him in a tight embrace.

“Beautiful…” The first officer planted kisses on the side of his face, before Martin turned to meet his lips. “You were perfect, Martin…”

“You…” The captain didn’t know where he was going with that sentence, so he abandoned it in favor of kissing Douglas again. “I-I’ve never…”

“You won’t have to worry about that anymore, Love…” The FO nuzzled Martin’s cheek, a tired smile on his face. “No more faking, no more giving up… You deserve more than that, you know…”

The captain let out a breathless laugh, still riding the wave endorphins. “Thank you...”

“The pleasure is all mine.” Douglas rested his back against the headboard, pulling Martin back with him. “Well… I suppose it wasn’t. That was rather the point of this.”

“Come here, you…” Martin turned over, pulling his partner into another kiss.


End file.
